But, I’m starting to mellow out. And I’m giving more things to God. He knows that the time I forgot to send my dad his birthday gift, I didn’t love him any less. His grace is given to us, why don’t we allow it for ourselves? I struggle with this daily and at times, I’m able to see that I’m my own worst critic. Other times, it’s clearly pointed out to me. And those are the times I have to remember His grace the most. I know that I’m doing my best and that’s pretty darn good.
Another way that I keep it all in perspective is my Gratitude Journal. When I see all the things I’m grateful for in my life, things that REALLY matter, all the other stuff starts to fade away. It becomes less important and allows me to feel less small. At our Retreat in September, we challenged all of the ladies in attendance to start 100 Days of Gratitude to end their year. Each day or night, they were asked to write down one thing that they were grateful for. My list includes things like warm baths, date nights with my husband, peanut butter, snuggles with my kids, and fingerless gloves. Of course, “God’s grace” and “my relationship with God” are in my journal as well, but the little things are important, too. Those things keep me grounded and allow me to be okay with not being perfect.
It’s fine. I know my life will not be full of perfect moments. I know that my house won’t always be clean when a friend stops by, that my car won’t always get an oil change when the dealership thinks it’s time, and that my kids’ birthday cakes won’t always be homemade, but those are the things that really don’t matter in the scheme of things. What does matter is that a friend stops by, regardless of the way my house looks; that I have a car that gets me and my family safely where we need to go; that I get to celebrate one more birthday with my kids. And that’s perfect to me.